|Artist and Writer. I don't consider myself too good, but I don't lose the hope of getting better. I'm also the person behind the webstory The Crack. (thecrackstory.tumblr.com/) make sure you check it out!|
After a long, tiring day of work, we were all putting our things into our bags and getting ready to go home. I pulled my hair clips out of the register and into my hair. Blanc took out her uniform and put on a leather jacket and shades, as she always does. Vert laughed for the final time at a Garfield strip before putting her comics back in her briefcase. We started heading towards the exit when Noire emerged from the kitchen with a tray holding 4 mugs and a sweet smell:
-”Minnasaaaan! Do you want hot chocolate? I was trying to roast a chicken but I mistook it for a huge block of chocolate and now I have all this melted chocolate and don’t know what to do with it.”
We all approached our friend immediately, because when you have good friends diabetes isn’t going to stop you. I took a big sip at one of the mugs, and my god, it was just so. Damn. Sweet! My tongue became numb and I started drooling everywhere:
-”Blaaaaahhh, Noi diu a da bes diu no? (Aaaaahhhh, Noire you’re the best, you know?)
-”I can feel my blood sugar levels rising and I don’t want them to stop”- Blanc had a blank expression but she was drooling uncontrollably too.
-”Makes you kind of sleepy, doesn’t it?” - Vert was so in control she was the only one not shaking - “It took my energy away, kind of makes me want to sleep here at the shop tonight.”
-”That gives me an incredible idea!” - I snapped out of it - “What if we have a pajama party tonight? Just the four of us, here at the shop!”
-”Nep-chan, that sounds like a sugoi idea!” - Noire is my friend but resisting the urges to punch her sometimes becomes so hard. - “Imagine all the overdone anime cliché hijinks that would certainly ensue!”
-”Good think I broke into your houses last night and muggled your pajamas in.” - Oh, that Blanc was so silly.
-”Wait, I was just joking, sleeping here goes against the regulat-”
-”It is decided then!” - I punched Vert in the nose before she could finish her sentence. - “We’re staying here tonight!”
[Pause for the girls to change. This is going to take a while so feel free to go make yourself some toast or something. Or put on pajamas yourself and become part of the adventure!]
We all emerged from the four different dressing rooms that we had with our night gowns. Noire was wearing a cat costume minus the head. I was wearing a onesie. Blanc had one of those long dresses grandmas use. Vert was ripped.
…..what? Oh, no, you didn’t misread that. Vert’s pajama consisted of a loose tank top that covered her knockers and short shorts. But that really was to be expected because she’s the boobalicious character in this fanfic. What wasn’t expected was how shredded she was. You could fry an egg on those abs.
-”Ok so we’re wearing our pajamas. What the hell do we do now?”- I wanted to say something to stop looking at Vert’s body. She was making me feel weird, and not in the bad way.
-”Mmmm…. Maybe we should arm wrestle.” - Noire was not helping.
-”Eeeeehhhh? You feeling lucky, punk?” - Blanc had totally changed personality, and was now rolling up her sleeve.
-”What if I am, you bitch!?” - Friendship was in the air as Noire stood up and hit her forehead as hard as she could on Blanc’s.
They stared at each other for a while, until Vert raised her arm:
-”Ok then! It is settled!”
Vert grabbed a nearby table and slammed it on the ground. Noire and Blanc immediately put their elbows on it, almost cracking it, and locked hands. They were looking at each other so hard I was sure one of them was going to pop a blood vessel. I couldn’t miss this. I grabbed their hands with mine:
-”One, two, three, go!” - I released them and expected the bloodshed.
And it did come! They both went “WOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAHHHH!!!!!” and an incredibly strong current of hot air started emerging from the fiery center of the battle. The floor started cracking, bits and pieces of ceramic floating. The windows exploded. The whole building was shaking.
-”YOU REALLY THINK YOU CAN DEFEAT ME, SLUT?? I’LL HAVE YOU KNOW THAT I’VE BEATEN THE GORILLA WRESTLING VIDEO GAME AT THE ARCADE 15 TIMES IN A ROW!!” - Noire revealed the reason that thing was always broken.
-”YOU’RE BEING HELD BACK BY YOUR PAIN, NOIRE! BUT I’LL SHOW YOU WHAT IS ACTUALLY ACHIEVABLE WHEN YOU LEAVE THAT BEHIND TO STRIVE FOR A HIGHER LEVEL OF POWER!!!” - Blanc’s eyes were on fire. That’s not a metaphor, they were both burning.
-”CHUUUUUOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!”- Blanc received a rush of energy from God knows where and lifted Noire in the air with her right arm. She spinned her around a few times and finally threw her towards the fridge, which exploded in a fiery explosion that left us without resources for a month.
Blanc’s palm was smoking, and her face looked satisfied. After cracking her knuckles, she proudly announced:
-”Which one of you pieces of shit is going to be the next one to die?”
-”Oooohhh, that sounds like fun!”- Vert was way too enthusiast at this.
She pushed me aside and took Noire’s place in the table.
-”Let’s both enjoy this, ok?” - Vert closed her eyes and smiled
-”Huuuuuh?? You’re way too relaxed amateur. You better say your prayers.”
Once again I grabbed the participant’s hands and counted down, knowing that I was going to lose another friend that night.
-”One, two, three, go!”
The moment I released their hands Vert effortlessly launched Blanc’s sorry ass through the window. She flew at a bullet’s speed in a straight line during 3 seconds before entering her own home’s window and landing over her bed, unconscious.
-”I guess we’re the only ones left, aren’t we, Neppu?”
Under any other situation I would have been happy at Vert saying those words, but not this time. This madwoman was 100% sure she was going to annihilate me and so was I. Blanc, who possessed the “Absolute demon” fist technique that had been passed down her family for generations stood no chance against her. How was I, a cute and insanely hot worker at a Coffee Shop supposed to defeat such an unfeeling warrior? Was I left to leave all hope and surrender? Was I meant to turn back that day and go out the door, making Vert lose all of her respect and love towards me? Was I destined…. to be a loser…?
I am Neptunia Von Neppu, cashier at The Coffee Shop “AU” and proud protagonist of this work of fiction. I wasn’t about to be defeated by a side character meant only for fanservice and as a possible love interest. I knew I had to win. I was going to win. Nobody could stop me. I felt an aura of determination surround me, as I walked closer and closer to my enemy, every step resonating. Vert looked very relaxed, but her power was strong enough to pierce my every heartbeat. I slowly put my incredibly muscular elbow in the table, dust lifting from the ground. Vert grabbed my hand firmly, still smiling, but I have to admit: that felt like having it smashed by an elephant's foot. I wasn’t about to give up. I was going to obliterate her. This was the place… This was the time...:
-”One…” - I counted.
-”Two…” - She continued.
-”Three….” - Get ready to say your last words, sucker.
-”.......go…..” - Almost as if knowing her defeat was imminent, she whispered the trigger to the fight.
I slept in a hospital for the rest of the month.